The lovely Myrtyle!

scooter, dog, The Daddy's legs

Here she is, star of the show – the very lovely Purple Myrtyle. This pic was taken along the Black Hills ‘easy access’ trail on the Malvern Hills. We had a nice trundle out, I had a bash at getting Myrtyle up to one of the peaks – we did fail but I think only because the ground is very slippy (all that grit and gravel) – Myrtyle would have gone right to the top but the surface was just sliding under us and we started back-sliding so decided to quit before I shit myself!

Heres how far up we got though…

Halfway up

Pretty impressive yes – you won’t be doin’ THAT with a mere smear Pride Shopmodoodah now will ya!


Introducing the Cast.. particularly Myrtyle

Well hello you, thankyou for popping by!

If you aren’t sure why you landed here, a short check list for you:

  • Do you like dogs?
  • Do you like the countryside?
  • Do you like slightly random rantings?
  • Do you have any mobility problems?
  • Have you got a slightly off-kilter sense of humour?
  • Do very rude and random sweary words offend you?
  • Cockwomble.

If you said yes to most of those or at least not ‘hell no’ to any of them, stick around. This blog will detail my adventures on my scooter Myrtyle (the extra Y is important, shes that kinda girl!). Myrtyle is my amazing and zoom-tastic mobility scooter.  Before you have visions of something foldable and dainty, for popping to the post office on or a quick zip round Waitrose… think again.

Myrtyle is  a custom built off road scooter,  built by the lovely lovely chaps at Horizon Mobility (  She will carry over 60stone (so thats me, a friend and a HECK of a lot of shopping), for the mechanically minded she has an AC motor and can climb some astonishing gradients. She has a top speed of 15 mph (on private land only, naturally <ahem>) and loves nothing more than a trundle through the countryside, preferably getting her huge knobbly (ooh err) tyres mucky.

For the none-mechanically geeky types – shes a big girl, she goes like the clappers and not much stops her! (Yes, I AM talking about the scooter, not myself!)

So thats Myrtyle, shes really the star of the show.  I do the driving and we are usually accompanied by a selection of dogs – we have many, short ones, tall ones, frilly-eared ones and fluffy all over ones. A dog for pretty much every occasion in fact.

There is also my boyfriend, we will refer to him as The Boy. His role is general whinging about how far he has had to walk, why does THIS walk not end in a pub, that he needs a wee or is hungry. He also drives the van that takes us to further flung places, so we tolerate him and buy him steak every so often (thats clearly not all I do to keep him sweet but this isn’t that sort of blog!).

An occasional special guest appearance will be made from time to time by The Daddy – this is my Dad and he bankrolled Myrtyle so gets a guest spot every so often. He’s in his 70’s and you’d think he would be old enough to know better by now but as time will show.. he isn’t and he doesn’t.  He can be recognised by his dreadful socks, (with sandals, of course), mountain bike and generally disreputable air.